Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
