I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
