just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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