Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
