it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
