apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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