I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
