You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
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