The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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