Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
