No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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