I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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