at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
