Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
