Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Randomize
