Can i not drive my cunt home
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
