Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
