Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
