we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
