Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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