so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
