She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
