Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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