Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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