I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
