i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
