I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
We got so high we made milksteak
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
