when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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