marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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