i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
