Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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