No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize