What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize