you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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