The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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