you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
not ubering you a puppy
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
