there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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