I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just took my morning after pill in the library
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
