My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
