im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
