my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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