I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
