We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
