so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
