So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
He shit in the fireplace
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
