she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
