I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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