What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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