OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
