we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
