That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
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