people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
