So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
