quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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