Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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