Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
