So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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