Duck Duck Cougar?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
