So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
