So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
