Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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