if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
